Rascal King (roadrat) wrote in justanillusion,
Rascal King
roadrat
justanillusion

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Yep.Another rant.

I'm fucking sick of people asking me if I'm ok.I'm fucking sick of having the reflex answer of "i'm fine" that I've had since I was like 14.My new naswer I like better then the reflex.I haven't been ok since I was like 6.Why the fuck do you think I would be ok now?I mean fuck.I'm sick of being ok.Ii'm sick of trying to be ok.I'm not fucking ok and honestly I'm too tired to think that trying to change that matters.Hell not much really matters to me at the moemnt.Nothing holds any meaning.It doesn't even matter to me that theres no meaning.I'm sick of needing a meaning to do anything.Why does anything we do need meaning?I mean most of the time it only means something to us.And in the end what the fuck does that matter?Sex,love,accomplishments etc.Does any of that really matter if it only has meaning for us?Fuck I don't even know.I'm just sick of not doing things simply because they don't have meaning.Hell if I was waiting to do something that had meaning or mattered in any way shape or form I would be curled into a little fucking ball right now waiting to simply fade the fuck away.But ya know what.I'd rather just do things that are meaningless instead of that.Do alot of them make me a bad person,empty,cold?Yeah.Probably.But I just don't care anymore.None of it matters any fucking way.What the hells the point in being a good person?Kind?Caring?There is no fucking point.Yay people think your a good person.Yay for fucking you.You care.Wow I'm so fucking happy for you.Hey look you got shit on.Or heart broken.Damn,aint so good now huh?Nope.I'm fucking done with it.I'm so fucking sick of being the nice guy.I care too much.I'm too sympathetic.Things mattered too much to me.I'm just sick of it.No.I may not get any farther in life.But fuck at least my morals wont keep me sexually frustrated just cause I want to make love instead of fuck.This post really doesn't have any fucking point.Fuck it.I've desided that I'm going to get somewhere in life even if it means fucking nothing.Why?because it's better then being curled up in a fucking ball.That is the only thing that matters to me anymore.Not being curled up in a fucking ball feeling sorry for myself.
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My response to "How are you?"

"I feel like shit, but I've got no complaints."